Relationally, what is true of couples contending with ADHD is true of most couples, with more frequency and intensity than non-ADHD couples. Emotional dysregulation is a core component of ADHD (Beheshti et al. 2020), with its prominence a key factor in the dissatisfaction and termination of romantic relationships. Regardless of symptom intensity or severity, emotional intelligence (EI) remains the key determinant for whether or not a couple do well together. EI encompasses the ability to appraise, regulate, and express emotion as well as effectively utilize emotions on behalf of problem solving (Mayer et al. 1990; Pollack et al. 2017), along with other key factors for this description. Women and men often have differences in ADHD behavioral traits, let alone subjective experiences of their disorders. Clinical experience indicates that most over-identify with their disorder, may show little interest in differentiation of self from symptoms until relational issues are significant enough to bring the individual, couple, or family to therapy.
