Men’s Issues
Masculinity and ‘what it means to be a man’ in our current era seem to be expanding beyond traditionally narrow boundaries. Anger, stress and anxiety are often symptoms of such narrow guidelines for self-expression, whether single, a husband, or a family-man. Sexual issues related to objectification, body-image, intimacy, as well as virility as we age, including erectile dysfunction, are also common concerns with few options for safe discussion.
Men with histories of sexual abuse or trauma, physical abuse, domestic violence, addictive behaviors (including alcohol and drugs, behaviors associated with adrenaline or dopamine); sexual orientation or gender identity questions; depression in the form of somatic complaints or lack of drive often require men to seek support. Sessions help to ensure health, safety, and satisfaction despite challenges unique to the male experience.
We may even be able to help a guy avoid related major mid-life crises.
Therapy for Men in Los Angeles
Men often arrive late, and usually at someone else’s suggestion. The presenting reason is rarely the reason. It is a temper that has started to frighten the people it is aimed at, a level of drinking that has become a routine rather than a choice, sleep that stopped working, or a partner who has said one final time that something has to change.
When anger is the only fluent emotion
Anger is frequently the only emotion that has been permitted enough practice to be fluent. Disappointment, fear, shame and loneliness arrive already translated into irritation, because irritation is the register that was available. Part of the work is unremarkable and takes time: learning to identify what the feeling actually is early enough to say it, instead of at the volume that ends the conversation.
Sex, function and the subjects that get skipped
Sexual concerns are among the most common reasons men consider therapy and among the least likely to be named in the first session. Desire that has changed. Erectile difficulty and the anticipatory anxiety that then makes it worse. Pornography use that has stopped feeling optional. Questions about orientation or identity held privately for decades. As a certified sex therapist, these are ordinary clinical subjects here, not a detour from the real work.
Work, worth and rest
Work is where many men locate their entire value, which makes a layoff, a plateau or a younger colleague’s promotion into something closer to an identity event than a career event. It also makes rest difficult to justify. Men with undiagnosed adult ADHD often describe decades of compensating through hours, then a point at which hours stopped being enough.
Getting started
Consultations are free and run 15 to 40 minutes. Call (310) 927-1755, email michael@michaelneetherapy.com, or use the contact page. The office is at 13101 W. Washington Boulevard, Suite 454, Los Angeles, CA 90066, minutes from Marina del Rey, Venice and Santa Monica, and telehealth is available anywhere in California.
Work can be individual or, when the strain is being carried by a relationship, in couples therapy.